RE: The 15 Person Wedding Limit
Oh guys, where to begin. Firstly, despite everything I think it’s best to stay as positive as possible. If you go ahead with the 15 person limit or postpone, you will still get to marry your best friend because love and happiness (despite it being hard to stay happy in recent times) is not cancelled. That being said, you have every right to be upset, it is shitty and disappointing, so don’t let anyone tell you you’re not allowed to be upset because “there’s worse things happening in the world”. Now is the time to reach out to loved ones and people in similar situations and talk about how you’re feeling, so 1. you have space to vent, 2. you can move forward and come out of it with a plan of action and 3. not feel alone or hopeless under the current circumstances. You are strong and you will get through it, I promise.
On the 22nd September, Boris announced more restrictions that directly affect the wedding industry. The new restrictions would see weddings restricted to 15 people, half of the already tight 30. The restrictions are also set to be in place for at least 6 months. This news has come as a huge blow to couples up and down the country. Some have already rescheduled their spring/ summer 2020 wedding to a late 2020 or 2021 wedding in hopes that they would be able to have the original wedding they had planned. Then couples who believed they wouldn’t be affected at all by the pandemic, are now facing tighter restrictions and the question of whether or not to postpone to late 2021 or even later. Others are opting to have a small ceremony now and a bigger party when everything is back to normal.
Now, there is some confusion over whether or not the 15 people include your suppliers/the people working at your wedding - photographers, videographers, registrar, vicar, etc. On the gov.uk website it says:
“2.9 Can weddings and civil partnership ceremonies go ahead?
Wedding and civil partnership ceremonies and receptions must only take place in COVID-19 Secure venues or in public outdoor spaces. From 28 September, weddings, civil partnership ceremonies and wedding receptions are restricted to 15 people. Receptions must be sit down meals. Anyone working is not counted as part of the limit.”
However, couples are coming forward on social media and news outlets to say that they have been contacted by their venues and their marriage officiants, (registrars, vicars, Imam, rabbi, etc) to be told contradictory statements about what is and what is not allowed on their wedding day. It seems each venue is deciding their own rules on whether or not vendors (anyone working at the wedding) are included in the 15 person limit. For example, some couples are being told that the registrar, photographer, videographer are included in the 15, which limits actual guests even more. Then others are saying the exact opposite, and that any vendors/workers are NOT included in the 15 people. I would advise to contact your venue and registrar and confirm with them, and if they say they are included in the 15 people direct them to this link https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do to section 2.9 (where my quote is from). Question why they are included when the government guidelines say the opposite.
You will still marry the love of your life.
In the future you can tell everyone you got married during a global pandemic. STORYTIME FOR THE GRANDKIDS.
One thing I would definitely recommend is to have someone film your ceremony and speeches, don’t worry, this is not a point where I’m trying to sell my services to you. If you haven’t got or do not want a videographer, use anything that has the capability to record - your phone, your dads camera, anything. Get a guest to set it up before the ceremony and speeches start, press play a few minutes before the entrance, and have them sit next to it in case it stops. Ask around to see if anyone has a tripod or something to stabilize it with, if not you can pick up a cheap phone or camera tripod on Amazon for less than £20. Because at least then you have something to share with the people who you wanted there, but couldn’t have. It may also be quite a good idea to, if when this is all over/calmed down, you have a reception with all of your original guests, you could play the video for people to watch during the reception. That way, they’ll still have watched you get married and get to celebrate with you straight after seeing it. There are many videographers/companies offering live streaming which may be an option to some, but again if you don’t want an additional person, ask a trusted guest to research how to live stream via a phone/laptop to apps such as Zoom, or even Facebook live.
To bring some hope in these uncertain times, intimate weddings are some of the BEST weddings I’ve ever been to. You’re surrounded by your truly nearest and dearest, (some people may even have the benefit of not having to invite THAT family member who they actually despise) celebrating your love and relationship. Make it a day to remember, laugh more and cry harder. Appreciate the fact that the people celebrating with you are there and healthy.
At the end of the day, you deserve a wedding you’re going to be happy with. Talk about all of your options with loved ones and do what makes you happy. An intimate small wedding can and will be amazing, it’s just hard to see that when you’ve had a certain image of your wedding day in your head for so long. If you want to postpone and feel that it’s the best thing for you and your partner, postpone. The important people in your life will stand by you and support your choices, and when all is said and all is done - you will marry your best friend.
Breathe. It will be okay.
I wish you all the best in the world.
Emma x